I Should Have Left My Mother At Home- Wedding Dress Shopping


I know, you all need a good laugh, or is that just me? Apparently, little girls dream of their wedding dress, no, well at least that is what I have been told, it just wasn’t me.

Weddings bring the worst out of families, I just had no idea that my Mother, would not only have a different idea of what “WE” wanted, but the years of entertaining in Diplomatic circles made her think she was really good at organizing events. Lets just set a picture, my Mother, has never been on time for anything, and I never had a birthday party, and my Mother forgot that all events were planned by a massive staff at the embassy. No worries though, I at least inherited my Father’s compulsive time and organizational skills.

I decided, maybe by mistake, to take my Mother to look at wedding dresses. I was told that the “PERFECT” dress would be the beginning of the “Best day of my life!” – I still don’t get that, what is it with weddings and it being the best day of your life, what would I look forward to the day after?

You know it is going to go wrong, when my Mother shows up in her pearls, and is ready to check the seams of every dress you put on. Oh, your Mother doesn’t do that? Mine comes armed with a magnifying glass, and her strong opinions.

Our first store, my Mother saw a pink confection, and demanded I try it on. I wanted to make my Mother happy, so I said fine. mean while, I looked at a gorgeous number, with a little bit of a plunging neck line, it was straight, perfect, simple.

My Mother, in her best fake upper crust English, humoured my choices. When I got to the straight dress, she raised one eyebrow, looked over her glasses, and asked “would you have wanted to walk down the aisle with your Father?” – seriously, trumping me with the dead father card? Of course, I had no idea what to say to that one.

I looked, and shrugged my shoulders, I loved it,but went back and put on the pink confection. As I came out, my Mother declared “that’s the one” – I was a little shocked, my Mother typically picked out stuff that I HATED (talk about being opposite in visions and taste) and could be definitive and absolute, leaving you no room to tell her you hate it. This happened to me so many times over my life, that I don’t think I ever owned a dress that I LIKED!

I looked in the mirror, and gasped at the sight of an ill fitting pink marshmallow swallowing me whole. It had sparkly thinks on the straps, the skirt was massive and made me feel like I was playing dress-up. I was NOT in LOVE. I didn’t move, I sort of stood there in shock as my Mother took out pieces of fabric from her purse, oh your Mother doesn’t do that. She had already picked out the veil, and it was not my style. She had been saving fabric from various countries we lived in, and wanted to incorporate it into the veil. An interesting and lovely concept, but still not my style.

As I remained stunned and wanting to swear out loud, I managed to say no to the pink. My Mother pursed her lips, and an eyebrow raised as she said “well, white is not exactly an attractive look on you, the pink is sweet and innocent, absolute perfection.” – well, o.k not sure who thought I was innocent, I had been living in sin for years, and good gawd, I was in my late 20′s.

As I walked away to the change room, I felt a little sick, I was thinking simple, fun and entertaining wedding, my Mother was thinking fancy diplomatic event that saw her as the center of attention. When I came out, fully dressed, I  said to my Mother that I wanted to think about it.

No need, she had already bought the dress. YUP, my Mother made the decision and bought the marshmallow confection.

At least she was kind enough to order it in white!.

I bet your Mother didn’t purchase your wedding dress without telling you? Don’t worry, I got her back.

Travel Lady with Baby

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